I Am…. The Low Maintenance Friend

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So that blogging break had been interesting and I am sure that I will continue writing about all the things I experienced during that time. I will say that in that time my social media interest seriously grew and I ran into a lot of people who weren’t just interested in what I was writing and recording but in befriending me? I found it kind of weird but I understood why eventually.

When it comes to friendships I view them with the same power and impact as a romantic relationship. I firmly believe that a friendship takes hard work on both ends and a real friend always meets you in the middle one way or another. I have had very few close friends as a result and furthermore I don’t honor friendships as easily. So spending my time on Facebook over the past few months I exchanged my number with a lot of people. I shared with some for sexual reasons, other for blogging/professional reasons, or some for actual friendship. I remember over a course of weeks I was getting people frustrated in my inbox because I hadn’t responded to their text or Kik messages in ample time to conduct a conversation. Not that I was not interested in getting to know them but I am not quick to the draw. I like to take my time and let things flow as naturally as possible. I don’t want to feel pressured to be in anyone’s space or cyber space. I am an independent person so a lot of times I want to be alone or in my own space. I don’t need to be entertained because I honestly entertain myself.

I have definitely noticed over the past few months of how needy people are for a friend. It is not even indicative of people who are transplants to a new city. It seems to be more people who are natives of their hometowns. I also notice that people try to build friendships as well on the basis of getting a discount or a hook up. I am pretty discerning when people try to use me because I do have real, quality friendships in my life right now. Friendships should be organic at all times. We have to naturally find each other’s space.

My best friendships have worked well when we didn’t need to be in each other spaces. We conduct lives grinding to our next goal and see each other when we can, but when we are together we make the most of it. There isn’t anything worse than seeing someone that you haven’t seen in a while and the first thing they say is; “Hey Stranger.” That is a surefire way to piss me off or make me distance myself from the friendship. I almost want to turn around and say; “I’m sorry I’m busy. I’m sorry I’m in school. I’m sorry I’m a part-time uncle. I’m sorry I had two deaths in the family and wrecked my car in two months.” (That really happened.) I understand that people want that “Sex In The City” formula of friendship and I have but I find it doesn’t work well with me. So I prefer friends I see some of the time not all of the time. It is just easier to keep my life on track and to pay attention to my goals.

 

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3 thoughts on “I Am…. The Low Maintenance Friend

  1. I feel you on this. Especially being with a group of friends that are on their grind too. People are really interesting when it comes to friendship. I tend to be slow to let people in my space but once I do I carve a place for them to occupy. Sometimes, I realize that I carve spaces out for people too soon and I end up hurt. I’m still learning and growing so I can be able to address those kinds of things when they happen. Once you are friends with someone, how do handle the hiccups, disagreements, etc?

    1. The best remedy is to be friends with someone that can disagree with in a healthy manner. When a hiccup happens I don’t want more than 24 hours to address it. You have realize that everyone’s feelings are valid and that you are working towards an understanding. The same energy you pour into your love life and keeping a mate is the same you pour into your friendships. Friends are soul mates too. 🙂

      1. Ah if only other people got that. Lol but my friends play by that rule and if not, they are removed from the crew.

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