So last week I had a run with a girl who was following me on my personal facebook. She had been instant messaging me some time off and on so we have had surface conversations quite frequently. Nothing too deep but just conversation and it was very basic. I only remember accepting her request because she was a friend of a close friend so I saw no harm. On our last conversation she basically tried to call me out on being gay and acted as if she had found the million dollar prize of the day. I was actually pissed off because I have never made my sexuality a secret. I have not really talked in detail about my sexual preference for several reasons and mainly because of the career choices I want to make and how it is frowned upon for being a homosexual in 2013. Why I do not know?
I feel like people obligated to knowing peoples sexual preference when I find it’s no one’s but the people you are sleeping with. I was more insulted because she had been watching over the past year to figure it out, rather than asking me like one homegirl did who I respect for doing so.
Ergo the problem…
I can’t help that I look like a man. I have had gayer days in my youth trust me, but because I am athletic and have tattoos and I have a beard half of the year does not mean I can’t be gay. I never thought anything about me was misleading, but my appearance is a constant evolution of who I am and being flashing and “pretty” is not my thing.
I am not one of those gay men wear women clothes and accessories, I do wear fitted clothes, but they are clearly made for men. I don’t take photos usually wear I have “ducklips” or tooch my booty up or put my hands on my hip unless I am just funning around. Also I don’t do a lot of sideways peace signing or weird signs with my hands because for some reason we as men can’t keep our hands just to our sides when we talk photos. Then I smile in most of my photos, mom dukes paid for straight teeth and she going to get her money’s worth. When people meet me in person they can tell most times that I prefer but I am not in the space either of trying to hid it or make you comfortable, but I will discuss my personal sex life with strangers, especially women. I feel more comfortable talking to men about my sex life and love life than women, especially black women, which is a video I will have to do on my youtube channel soon: Rodd Klever’s Youtube.
I have never used my image to mislead or enchant people. There is this misconception that with black gay men either we are extremely effeminate or we are so far in the closet that we have wives and families and we go around secretly fucking men. To the dismay of most people there are a lot of us who are just normal people who happen to enjoy the pleasure of men romantically and sexually and to boot there are some like myself who can socialize in any circle and if anyone knows me personally I have a diverse group of friends and there are secure straight men in that circle.
People need to remove their assumptions of what black gay culture looks like. I think people need to ask more questions and the right questions.
Yes I am a black gay man.
I have been openly gay since 2000, I come from a loving family who accepts my sexual identity and highly supports me as a gay person. My family supports me so well on this that I feel normal with them and more of an outcast amongst people I don’t know. I am blessed every day that I never had to war with my family about my sexual choices, particularly my mom who has always been a believer in gay equality and rights.
But I digress….
All in all people yes I look like a man because my mother raised me to be one. If you are unsure about someone’s sexual preference and how it relates to you, you better be sleeping with them before you ask a question like that because honestly black gay men are starting to build a serious gripe with uninformed black straight women.
Peace and Hair Grease,