In the catastrophe of this winter I have had a lot of candid conversations with other “prospective hopefuls”. I think people are attracted to the idea of me, not me. You feel me?
It’s like I talk a good game but they eventually won’t seal the deal. Often times these are people who are in unsuccessful relationships and I think to some extent I am some kind of escape from the mayhem of a ridiculous lover. I offer a consistent and balanced personality that reminds them nothing of the person they are with. I never understand why they stay because I know what they have is more than a rough patch it is the beginning of their end. I realize you can’t convince people to so what is common sense in this day and age.
So do I play the waiting game?
Do I pray the lover fucks up and I get what’s mine?
I know even if the split does happen they may not even want to date again. It’s so many scenarios that run through my head. I could imagine all the ways it could play out but realistically I see my being the loser and less of the victor.
I had a relationship years ago where I experienced unconditional love and I reveled in it. So now when I talk to folks I can exemplify that easily because it is a part of who I am now. I know how to be a solid lover and a consistent one when I love someone.
Sometimes honestly I feel like I’m being catfished and not that these are online endeavors but I feel like someone is not telling me everything and I don’t deal well with secretive people well. They often blow up in your face at times and you are left looking like boo-boo the fool. Not at all is it my agenda in my thirties to look like a complete and utter ass for someone else. So I am very leery or people who only let you see their strengths and not their weaknesses. I say this. I am to ever love you and I will, I will love all your good days and bad days and even if you are wrong and I am right I would never discount the love I have expressed to you. I treat my friends this way and I would treat my boo-thing the same way.
With all that standing I talk to folks and it’s like they are enamored with being a guy with me but can’t take that leap.
Am I too sure of myself?
Can my confidence be my undoing?
Is being real, clear, concise, and semi-discerning of one’s self a romantic intimidation?
I been asking myself this all night and I wonder am I the only one?
Peace and Hair Grease,