Several years ago and many moons a close friend of mine has a birthday celebration. I was at the time twenty-six not at all knowing my potential that I know now. I know my friend loves Grey Goose. Hell what black person you know that doesn’t? So I bring them the biggest bottle of Goose I could find. So you know I dropped a serious penny on this person. We have gone on a date a year prior to but nothing physical ever transpired which was fine. At this point they have moved on and even had a new boo. Not mad at all to be honest. I congratulate all things related to love and I never regret missed opportunities when it comes to love.
Que sera, sera. What will be, will be.
So I walk into the room and of course I know no one there. I make my bee line to my friend and give them the bottle with a long hug and a kiss on the cheek and a heavy dose of catching and conversation. So of course they walks off to great other people. It’s their party. I slide off into my own corner with a cocktail and then my stomach gets the growling. I saunter in the kitchen for some food.
Before I could get my narrow ass to the damn setup I am cut off by the new boo.
For real, no bullshit this is what was said.
New Boo: Who are you?
Rodd Klever: I’m #mygubmentname nice to meet you and you are?
NB: I’m #hisgubmentname. So how you know #friendsgubmentname?
RK: Oh we are just friends we met a year or two ago. They are good peoples.
*In spite the fact we know we had dated but I never kiss and tell the extreme details of how I know a person and damn sure not with a fucking stranger.
NB: Well. I am #friendsgubmentname man. This is my home. This is where I lay my head. My name is on the mortgage. My car is parked in the garage.
LONG ASS PAUSE FROM YOURS TRULY
This is the moment I truly stepped out of myself and had a conversation with myself.
Self, did this nigga really just come at me like that and tell me all that. I mean I didn’t come here to fuck this is a party celebration of someone being here another and did this nigga really just lay down the law like I was a peasant trying to usurp his throne?
Let me describe the emotions I felt.
and above all…..
Supercalifragilisticexpialidociously hoodwinked, bamboozled, and led the fuck astray.
RK: Oh ok cool. It was really nice to meet you. (very firm handshake)
So I knew at the point it time to go and I think I had only been there an hour and a half. I guess it was going to be a Mickey D’s night.
I ran into my friend gave a hug and left quicker than I entered.
See my issue with all this is that when I enter a room is that I look like Im going to take someone from their man. I’m not even that type of dude. It’s enough genitalia running loose that I don’t settle for someone else’s shorty.
Five things I don’t do.. Chasing, Desperation, Thirst, Pressing, and Boo-snatching.
I have a very extensive moral code and there is a lot of shit I just can’t do and honestly I won’t.
It’s like folks perceive as a shark. Basically waiting for someone to spill a little blood, I circle, and then I go in for the kill and devour them. Its like I am this aggressive bringer of doom and awesome peen. That’s not the case. I really want to just have a good time in social settings. I’m like a dolphin I like to socialize in packs and love on everybody and in brief moments come up for air. Isn’t that why we socialize? I get the thrill of the hunt, but most times a club or a house party is not the time for me and usually I don’t approach folks because people always have an attitude for whatever reason.
It’s like when I’m out with couples their dude is always looking at me crazy or they can’t leave their shorty alone with me. Real talk if you don’t trust anyone with your shorty, you should trust me. I wouldn’t do anything out of pocket and I wouldn’t do anything out of pocket with THEM or let them do anything out of pocket with anyone else. I’m not saying I have the best class or couth, but I believe in my social currency and my AAA social credit score and trying to get a little nookie just because is not on the agenda. It’s DC baby, it’s falling out the trees. Real talk you stand still on Howard Campus long enough and one will fall face first in your lap no matter how old you are.
Am I the only one who has experienced this? Fellas help me out here. Are booed up niggas that insecure?
Peace and Hair Grease,