To celebrate National Domestic Violence Awareness Month I hope this one reaches all my ladies and I hope you share this story.
So where do I start. I was maybe twenty-one. Just a kid pretty much and also very green as well, but I knew right from wrong. I was a server at the Applebee’s in my neighborhood at the time. I worked with this girl who was a few years older than me. She was a ray of sunshine and so nice and warm and friendly. She gave the best hugs because she meant them. I don’t know why I have a knack for people confiding in me, but folks always seem to. I guess it’s my laude in life, besides I can keep a secret.
She would always tell me of her crazy baby daddy who she lived with. I think she had four children with him as well. He was always jealous and vindictive and she revealed he was violent as well. It broke my heart how could you hurt the one you love. I didn’t understand and now slightly over a decade later I still don’t and I won’t and honestly it is thoroughly unacceptable to harm a woman.
I always sat talking to her about it and I offered her ways of getting out and I even volunteered to help even though at that age I wouldn’t have known what to do if she really had asked, but I knew I would do something.
At our restaurant her family worked there as well I am not sure if they were keyed in to what was really going, if they had turned a blind eye, or simply never knew. I never saw bruises or anything, but the gravity of her voice and echo in her throat made me believe and I had not one doubt.
Eventually she got out of her situation and got a roommate and things started to look up. You could see the ease of her spirit, the light in her eyes, the joy in her walk, and the excitement in her life. She was able to finally breathe and to be free. I didn’t have to worry anymore. I wasn’t fearful because he never came back to the restaurant to pick her up.
One day she was home alone. He found out where she lived and he said he wanted to talk so I was told. I assumed they had some conversations because he was the father of her children. He came into her home and I guess things got heated. He ended up stabbing her to death bagging up her bloodied body in a trash bag and tossed her into the dump in the apartment complex. It didn’t take her roommate long to find out what happened. The apartment was blood splatted and a mess from the violence that ensued. The next day at work we all were told of the unfortunate events.
I felt bad a little I couldn’t save her and I wish I could have. I was too young or either too afraid. I am not the man I am now compared to the boy I was then. It actually haunted me for a while because I never experienced a death close to me but my grandmother, but that wasn’t a malicious death just simply old age to some extent.
He was eventually locked up and I don’t know if he is still serving time or what. All I know is there are now for motherless children out there and mommy is never coming back and how to do you explain that to a child.
Moral of the story ladies and gentleman if you know someone who is being beaten and you can’t put on the cap to save them find someone who will. Help them in the best you can.
I think people don’t know how painful domestic violence is and how it affects the ones around them. It can be a cyclical damnation on the family.
Fathers hit their wives.
Sons hit their wives.
Daughters innately seek out men like their fathers.
And sometimes the children and women in those situations think smart and end the pattern.
The first time a man hits you leave, you press charges, and you wash your hands of them. A little known fact if at the first time you are hit violently and you don’t react in self-defense by killing them and they hit you again it can be perceived in some states as premeditated murder and the woman would serve for his death. Not that I am condoning an eye for an eye but, be smart protect your life, protect your families, protect your hearts. Regardless of your past you shape your futures and if no one is telling you that they believe you can change. I believe you can and even though I do not know you if you are reading this, know that I love you and I pray for your deliverance every day. Share this please someone needs to see this today.
Peace and Hair Grease,