Being in the “No”/Outta Fucks, Favors, and Shits to Give


We are definitely near the half way mark of 2012 and to be honest a lot of things have changed for me. I am in this new place and it’s exciting and sad at the same time. I have learned the power of saying no. Something I didn’t anticipate it being so delightful. How often do we say yes and undoubtedly say yes to “nouns” (people, places, and things). I have often said yes even though I know I shouldn’t have especially when it came to people. I made the choice to stop helping those who don’t help themselves and furthermore to stop abandoning the things in my life that I find important. We spend so much energy being givers when sadly we are the minority. The way I see it, it’s a lot of takers out there who don’t give a shit about how it interrupts our lives and how it slows down our progress and awesomeness. It’s the shear lack of consideration that unnerves me.

“Like who are you to really put my life on pause for the mundane and mediocrity of your own?”

“How dare you ask me put up more money towards your venture when my car note is due?”

“Take you to your business meeting, while my blog slumps?”

“I can’t even paint until I wait for your call because you got me on standby?”

Strangely these aren’t strangers who are bamboozling us into these situations it is sadly to our dismay friends, lovers, associates, and co-workers. It’s quite irritating when folks want you to do things for them when they can clearly do it for themselves. If you are well and able I’m not going to look out for you at this point. But hey Rodd Klever, that’s kinda selfish yo… Not really.

How can I help you, when I can barely help myself? That is ultimate question I ask myself daily.

I want to be a credit to society but I can’t be bojangling around with these leeches and wannabes and usurpers who only want me at their feet but not at their side. I have no intention of being better than you, but better than the me I am now. Sure I backslide, what Christian doesn’t, but when you had enough, you have HAD enough. I have missed out on sleep, been late things in my own life, fucked up my credit, missed out on solid opportunities and even love because I simply could not say “no”.

How often does saving Lois Lane get old?

How often do I want to go into Bowser’s castle to rescue Peach?

How much spinach do I got to eat for Olive to catch the hint? Life doesn’t work in such redundancy and neither is this a cartoon or a game.

Remember that photo of Rihanna smoking weed and everyone went in.

Google it. I will give you time.

……………………………………………… (Jeopardy music plays)

Basically her rebuttal to some effect was of being outta fucks to give. I think Rihanna almost had it, but she missed the mark.

 I am therefore out of fucks, favors, and shits to give. I have spent too much energy feeling guilty about the decisions I make that will better myself. So I have decided to put my cape in the cleaners, not use another fireball, and stay the hell out of the produce section. Why should I? Unless you are homeless, handicapped, a child, someone I sincerely love, or some random stranger. I won’t overextend myself. I have learned that when you enable folks to be lazy in your presence they will ride that wave as long as they can and then have the audacity to challenge why you want them to change when it only betters them, not you. I have recently changed the dynamics of my friendships, my sex life, and the person I would date because of these things. I really don’t have room for the nonsense because you are not living to your capacity nor are you working towards it.

It feels nice to wake up and look out for no one but yourself, your loved ones, and Christ and frankly that’s all I have space for. My life and my love are by invitation only. This is not a standing room or before-midnight-its-free kind of deal. Either you get past my velvet rope or you don’t and I don’t feel bad for turning folks away and why should you? When you realize the importance and the significance of why God put you on this earth you will do better. God chose me to be a human being, not an amoeba, not an animal, not a plant, but a thriving intelligent human being, so why don’t I live up to the glory he instilled into me.

Why waste my life?

Why waste my abilities?

Why waste my time?

There is always a higher purpose and intention. If folks can’t get right in your life they ought to be left and there is no shame about that for me anymore. I bring something beautiful and unique to the table and I deserve the best. I am a son, a brother, a friend, an uncle, a grand uncle to most folks surprise, a grandchild, and above all a child of God. I no longer find it fair from you to stop me from my destiny.

If you feel at the end of the day you are overextended to someone who doesn’t need you, this is your opportunity to realize, to stop. Slam the brakes. It is never too late to say no.


3 thoughts on “Being in the “No”/Outta Fucks, Favors, and Shits to Give

  1. This was a great blog! You let people know that they don’t have to be used to be liked! Open your eyes live your life!!!!!!

  2. This is so true. I have overextended myself for some people but not anymore. I have to think about hubby and my son. I love you blogs by the way especially the jeopardy music LMBO. My favor statement was “Like who are you to really put my life on pause for the mundane and mediocrity of your own”…love it.

  3. I loved this post. I probably shouldn’t have read it before my You got me all hype and ready to tell some folks about themselves, but everyone reaches a point where you just can’t deal with someone elses BS. You gotta say fuck it, you and whatever else. As always, good job and I look forward to the next one.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s