I think your 30s has become the worst time to date. Well at least your early 30s. When I was in my 20s I had ample time to play, run amuck, fuck this one, date this one, get my heartbroken by this one, break the heart of that one and in hindsight (which is always 20/20) I find those experiences built me into the thirty-something who is so complicated to date at times. By the time we all hit 30 we have definitely accumulated some form of relationship baggage. Whether it be a divorce, an abusive relationship (verbal or physical), watching the one you should definitely be with get away, children (yes they are baggage if you are not with the person because the new person is going to have to accept the situation especially if they are without kids and your kids are bad-asses), the death of a lover, and a buffet of things that impede the process of you getting to know me and vice versa. My baggage was playing around, not focusing on my career/education goals, and being financially irresponsible. Hell, I own up to it, would I do it all over…. HELL YEAH… in a minute. I think it builds character especially the dating and playing around. I eventually got all of the bad habits outta my system so I can date and be absolutely, 100%, certified, stamped … FAITHFUL. Now most know me for being a sexual being at times, but I’m human we all are, but in a relationship if you want something to grow into something more tangible than a few nicknames, seven (7x) months of bliss, and explosions of bodily fluids, you’re gonna have to solely focus on the person you are with, good, bad or indifferent
Now the question at hand…… Do you know your time tables?
We all know 2 x 2 = 4 and so on and so forth, but this isn’t a math lesson. Time tables usually involve 2 people trying to become one.
I hear you…you’re saying, sooooooo…. Rodd Klever that sounds easy 1 x 1 = 1, you say; “I got this, aint shyt.” Well let me tell you… the equation doesn’t balance. Now, look at the first “1” very closely… I MEAN CLOSELY…. You see it?
I’ll give you a second….
(plays Jeopardy theme)……………………………………… Ok times up.
If you look very closely to the right of the 1, there is an exponent that says kids, or ex-husband/ex-wife, or victim of domestic violence, or whore, or bad credit, or baby mama/daddy drama, or undercover bisexual tendacies and its not always men… it is also women, or weird sexual needs like adding an amputee midget with gout into sexual play… (I digress) these unknown factors often are missed or not revealed until later. So a lot of times the balance of your issues may outweigh the other person or again… vice versa. So somehow at this stage in your life you have to bring it together and become one. It works for those who have the strength of perserverence, but for other who are in no mood for a fight or extreme adversity it won’t work. I found that sometimes in my own dating expreinces I respect adversity, but some things I will not negotiate on.
Now bust this shyt…
I see nothing wrong with you having a roommate or staying with family or not having a car or even being in between jobs, but I CAN NOT date someone who is submerged in all three variables because then I have to be your daddy and I don’t have kids and anyone over 25 is not a kid to me.
I will not negotiate on my sexual satisfaction…. If I don’t do something I don’t care how you feel I’m not doing it and If there is something I wanna do, you gotta be down for it… I know very “neanderthal” of you Mr. Klever but it’s not that complicated, trust me. It’s simple as me not wanting to be with someone who would have sex on their mama’s bed at her house while we are visiting for the holidays and just as serious as me being with someone who loves to kiss… come on, you gotta love kissing folks.
There are other situations that come later in the developing of a relationship(s). The Pythagorean Theorum of Relation-tivity:
Biological Ticking2xMarriage Ready2=Possible Pre-Nup2
Sounds like the most but there are several remedies to this equation to undo this problem. Get in line with the other person and make it happen or come to an understanding until you are balanced in your desire/concern with the opposing integer (person). This equation may take months to years depending on how bad you want it (or study). Be patient you will come to a conclusion to what you want good, bad, or indifferent.
A lot of times more than often we are so under much pressure to achieve these things when we havent started loving ourselves before we started loving someone else. We all know if we dont start with one (1) how dare we go to two (2). Its not 0, 2, 3, 5 (unless you having twins or pets LOL). We should start with our “love” constant…. 1(yourself+love). We seek out love at times to fill the void in our lives when really all we needed is ourselves, a good couple of friends (http://fromraewithlove.com) , and an occasional glass of wine to cope with a hellacious day of work.
(Time/Love)+YouMe =Eternal Bliss2
This is the ultimate goal we should be working for… All other things like family, a home, the trips to the Caribbean, and the picket fence will all come to you. Tell me what you think folks. Until next time…
Peace and Hair Grease,