Love. Transparency. Sincerity. Honesty




This post comes in celebration of LGBT History Month.

Hi, my name is Rodd Klever. I am 34. I am an open black gay man. I am born and raised from the DC Metro area. I am one of eight, an uncle, grand uncle, and friend.

In recent months I have started contemplate my place in the gay universe and where did I exactly fit in. I know that I prefer a romantic and sexual interaction with men exclusively, but what does it mean to me to be gay exactly?

Being gay can be so many things in this day and age, but is so confining. I think because I have learned tolerance on all ends of this lifestyle. I remember when I started going to my first gay clubs and I was only eighteen. I was terrible afraid of everything. I remember the guys that would come onto me; I remember seeing my first drag queen, then my first transsexual. I remember feeling so awkward especially because I hung out with a lot of dom lesbians and lesbian clubs (those were the days). I do remember meeting my first best gay friend and hanging with him at clubs Thursdays to Tuesdays during the warmest times of the year and wearing half naked outfits and cowboy hats and fishnet tops with leather pants and properly placed safety pins. I’m sitting here smiling now because I remember how innocent those times were. I remember going to the club and dancing the night away with no alcohol in my system. I was off pure endorphins and the lovely fun factor. Life was so good.

Then things got weird.

Friends fell out, I haphazardly lost my virginity at 21 and 9 months (LOL), friends became HIV positive, and I was a victim of a vicious prank that had guys thinking I was an escort and calling me all hours of the day and night. Then the sex parties, the black gay prides, and several lovers. I even experienced my first break up around 24. My mid-twenties were like some backlash to balance out all the fun I had. It wasn’t fun anymore. I disappear for years like around 26. I made seldom visits to the club; I didn’t keep many gay male friends. I couldn’t sustain them for two reasons, either they were too competitive and insecure or they had their own set of friends and it was no room for me and I wasn’t in the mood to audition to be a friend either. Just as I formed my own niche I found myself to be more out of the loop and an outcast. Then around 27 I moved out on my own and no sooner I started a three year relationship with a closeted bi gentleman. He was my world and the valid, if not necessary turning point in my life, I owe him for who I am today. He helped me to find the balance between my sexuality and person I was before I was gay. It’s like I amalgamated the best of my past and my present in this awesome guy.

Then it got better.


I started to develop friendships again. I didn’t have the need to socialize at gay venues, but I came out the house more. I found joy in simplicity. I uneventfully and amicably split from him, but it’s not a day I don’t think of what he did for me. We split on the eve of my 30th year on this year. I had cut my locs off and was moving again to save and work on my finances. I worked out, built this blog and identity and fast forward to 4 years later I am asking the question of all questions now. Who am I?

Being gay is lot deeper than sex, friends, clubs, prides, or lovers. I have experienced and seen a lot and loved it all. Being gay only minimizes who I am in the world. I prefer to associate myself with being LGBT. I love all aspects of the gay community and we all a necessary part of it regardless of how we want to be identified. Whether if we are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, pansexual, queer, masculine, feminine, Male to Female, Female to Male, dom, studs, butch, or non-identifying. We are all a part of this amazing world and undoubtable movement. We have to stand by each other and affirm that we belong and regardless of our race, gender, or geographical location we all are important.



R. Klever

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YouTube: Ask Klever……


This is my chance to interact you ladies and gentlemen. I am answering your questions that you need clarity on. I would love to hear your questions. Make sure you watch the video for details and I hope to get some responses from you guys.


R. Klever

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You Can’t F*ck Everybody


So you are out at an event. You are dressed to the nines and smelling good and amazing. Your hair is fresh and you’re more confident than Mike Tyson in boxing match with Dr. Ruth. You know you got this tonight. You are nice and settled in the room, you came with the right friends. You mingle together a little and little apart. The night is going swimmingly well. You bump into someone indirectly and spill their drink. You see no other to apologize but to take to the bar and ask if you can make it up to them and get them whatever they were just drinking. This sparks a long and exciting conversation about a plethora of things. It is so many things that nothing is breaking you at all from this conversation.

You leave the bar and find a nice lounge area that is more intimate without a lot of distractions or noise. So you both are able to fully engage each other. You find you have so much in common and through your discussion you find out that this person can help you get your way to a goal that you have had on your mind for months, but had no clear shot to get to.


There is a slight problem. You know you can definitely get ahead with your interactions with this person, but you want to fuck the brakes off them. Call yourself Meineke or Midas for now.

As a highly sexual person (not hypersexual) I find that I have run across this problem on a regular basis and especially in my twenties. After losing my virginity close to my time of turning 22, I fucked hard damn near until my thirties. When I hit my thirties things slowed down if not anything leveled off. When I started blogging and then becoming a YouTuber I decided that since I was trying to build a brand I needed to aware of my interactions and being a Washingtonian it is something bred in you to be aware of who you know, how you know them, and what is the purpose of your interactions. I didn’t want to lose my brand to a bad sexual liaison that went wrong. I know people are looking at me like; “Rodd Klever you are a nobody in social media and the blogosphere.”  and you couldn’t be more right. My awareness for this is for my future not necessarily my present. I know when people become successful (and I will be) they have enemies that will do anything to take them down and I don’t want to be a victim to that.

But I digress….

Sex is great. I love it can’t lie, but if me getting ahead in career by keeping my genitals in my pants is essential, I will be doing so. I also feel that sometimes you can miss out on great friendships by trying to screw everyone you meet. I am a believer in platonic friendship. I will admit some of my friends I would love to lay down the sexual law with but it is not beneficial to either. I just feel an hour and a half of unrestricted passion is not worth losing an awesome friend (unless we are drunk and we then can blame it on the alcohol). I am firm believer you meet people for a reason. They are to inspire change and new ideas. I think when it comes to your libido at a certain you have to be more discerning where lay your family jewels beyond health reasons.

So I leave you this question.

Would you rather have bang out amazing sex for one to three hours or make an additional 10K to 100K annually?


R. Klever

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Youtube: What Is Masculinity?


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Maybe the Last Time I Saw My Dad (What I Should Have Said)


In February my paternal grandfather passed. He is the person I am named after and who represents the legacy I want to leave.

As a result of his passing I would have to go to his funeral which I did not want to partake in because of my bad relationship with my father.

I haven’t seen my father since 1995 and it was our last court proceedings for child support payment issues. At that time of my life I had a tremendous love for my father and I had high hopes that he and I would renew our relationship and have a bond. I will admit as a result of my father and I not having a relationship I have serious “daddy issues” and I think innately it is the cause why I have bonding issues with men socially, but I digress. Leading up to the funeral was an ordeal. I had only been in contact with my half-sister and to boot my younger half-brothers mother died within the same time so I had two funerals to go to in a week’s time. So I wasn’t in a really joyful mood because my stepmother’s death (now my father’s ex-wife) was so unexpected. My sister and I had been talking about the proceedings and my participation in them. I was asked if I would pall bearer my grandfather into the proceedings with my half-brothers and to stand with my siblings for a speech my sister (who is the eldest of my father’s children) would give.

I declined it all.

Only because my father was the one who suggested idea and was placing the suggestion to my sister to ask me. I was insulted because we had not spoken in almost two decades and he didn’t even have the courtesy to reach out to me personally to ask me. I was enraged, but I furthermore explained that I was not doing it because I did not want to give people the idea that we were one happy family and I did not want someone speaking on my behalf for the relationship that I had with my grandfather which my half siblings experience was very much different to mine and I know it could not equate at all to what I had to say.

I sat in that funeral conflicted the entire time just unnerved by my father. I was pissed, heartbroken, devastated, enraged, frustrated, upset, and invalidated. I felt everything at once so I walked out and stood in the hallway until it was done.


Before that I realized the man resting in the casket is the one I was named after. I always wonder if God knew before we knew that he was the man I was going to look up to, but the secondary half of my genetic code who sat front row, front seat had all the glory at that moment and was seen as the tragic victim.

I don’t hate my father, but it is simply disdain. I wished every day of my life until I was sixteen that he and I would have a relationship. That I would get a dad and that he would come looking for me. In the sixteenth year of my life I found out some more truths of my father and the crimes he committed against my family. I realized then that our relationship was no longer repairable. Not only that but when I finally met one of my half-brothers and saw another of whom I have not seen since he was three I was immediately rebuffed. So now my little brother hates me and it appears that my other half-brother wants nothing to do with me as well currently. So which brings me all the way back to the funeral and being in a room full of siblings and relatives who don’t care for me and have no interest in me because my father kept us separated and didn’t try to build our relationship. I never had brothers either so that eats at me too. The straw that broke the camel’s back which led to me walking out was a conversation I had with a third cousin.

My half-sister introduced us and she said “Oh you have the same name as my cousin resting up there.” I followed up and said; “I know I am named after him.” The look on her face was puzzled and confused. She clearly had realized that she had not gotten the memo on something. So she plainly asked who I was related to. In my mind I’m like; “Really bitch? If she is telling you that I am her brother and that she is the daughter of the son of my grandfather and I am named after him completely from first name to surname. Who in the fuck do you think I am?” So I kindly explained that I am Leonard’s son. She asks the most idiotic question. “Why haven’t I met you before?”

*As the gears, spokes, do-dads, and springs because to rust, completely stop, and then explode….

I said to her kindly, “Oh love no one has.” She got up for a speech shortly, I listened to her speak of my grandfather, and that’s when I hit to the lobby.  Fuck my life though, my cell phone was dying, but luckily my niece came out to talk to me. I tried to explain my grievances, but I think no one understands how infuriated I was. No one understood how uncomfortable I was. I eventually just went outside grabbed some air. Still pissed, but I was masking better because my niece started to feel what I had been feeling for years. There is an unsurmountable tension between some of our relatives on my paternal side and it is thick. Eventually my brother in law and I got my niece calm and went inside. I decided well it’s time to go. I said goodbye to my brothers and gave my sister and niece a huge hug and began to walk to my car. Before I could cross the parking lot I hear….

“Why don’t you stay and eat son?”

I didn’t recognize the voice, because I haven’t heard it in years, but I knew no one had the right to call me son, but my dad.  I politely declined and said no thank you and that I was ok. He asked if I was sure as I was still inching to my car, but I continued to decline.

He says; “Take care of yourself.”

I reply; “I always have been.”

I got in my car and left. I had my opportunity to give him my mind, but today was not about him it was my grandfather, the man I was named after, the man I would want to be one day.

I had so much I wanted to say while I bashed his skull into the brick wall.

“Why didn’t you come find me?”

“What did you say to make my brothers hate me?”

“Why did you let me go without a fight?”

“Why did you hurt my family?”

“Why didn’t you ever love me?”

I think it will be the last time I will see him. I can’t say now I will attend his funeral.

The lesson from this is that a child from a broken home always has hope that their parents will return and if you have left your kids I promise you that they are still looking for you through the window and standing in the door of their heart and mind waiting for you to show back up. There is still always a swallow of hope. Even with me there is still a very, very small piece of me that yearns for a dad. It is an emptiness that really can’t be filled, but each day I get better at dealing with it.

black father and adult son 471-093011

I will say in closing. As much as I have disdain for my father who provided genetically to my awesomeness I know the bible teaches us to honor thy mother and father, but the Ten Commandments said nothing about liking them.


R. Klever

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YouTube: The HookUp Series





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Racial Irresponsibility and Unaccountability


So it’s 2014 and all that had gone on over the past few years I am asking myself the question.

Are we here because we put ourselves here?

There is nothing that can validate a death, but post the civil rights era did we learn anything? Did we forget what our jobs were to be and to uphold the MLK and X perspectives, or did we become complacent and think that we were safe?

We are not living in a generation where we choose to acknowledge or are informed of our history and we don’t search for it either. I think as a race African Americans have to hold some accountability for not keeping the status quo of our race on the up and up (myself included). I took a African American studies class years ago and that blew the door wide open on race for me. I have been changed since, but realizing the hand we all play in the defamation of the black race is much deeper that our appearance. All the posting of WorldStarHipHop videos, all the “black people be like” anecdotes and memes, all the back and forth over light skin vs. dark skin, using religion to separate and fuel intolerance against each other is skimming the surface of our problems as a race. I find as a race we barely tolerate each other at times. The way we speak of each other, the way we stereotype each other, the idea that is there is a difference between “black people” and “niggas”, the way we separate ourselves from other races instead of doing what integration was built around. This is skimming the surface again of what the problems may be.

If we are ever going to have resolution to these problems and the “Emmitt Tilling” of the black race and our children specifically. We have to acknowledge our hand in the images of black culture as it stands in the United States of America. 

It is somehow conceptualized that we are equals in this country and that you and I are “free”, but as a close friend of mine says “Freedom ain’t free, everything cost you something.” I agree with the fact that she is right. This post is not about assessing my thoughts and opinions on the death of Mike Brown and the collective deaths of people of African descent by authoritative figures and police.

As you see I used a #IFIWASGUNNEDDOWN photo for the thumbnail of this post because I am against the idea of what it represents. People are using their photos from social media for admirable reasons but not really holding on to the truth of their photos. If we all were so concerned of how we were portrayed by mass media we would not use these photos in social media. If we were so concerned we take all our “negative images” off of social media but many of us haven’t nor plan to. There are several photos on my own social media sites/app that I know don’t show me in the best light, but that’s who I was at that moment and time in my life and I am not ashamed of it. I think it is further more to the argument that even though the media describes white suspects better than black victims we have control over our images and it is nothing they can do short altering them, which is highly unethical to do so. More On This Topic From The Huffington Post Click Here 


Even with all that said, even beyond our photos we have to look at our physical presence in the world. All minorities are under the boot heel of some kind of stereotype or have been oppressed or have been in mass media under some kind of racial moniker or devalued because of their gender. I think as African-Americans either we are ignoring how society views us or we are simply not being told as children how the world views us. For instance, with women. Women have to be aware of their image, where they walk at night, and how they interact with men. I am by no means condoning rape shame or slut shame, but women have been on target about this for a long time. They know they have the freedom to dress anyway they choose, they know they can walk wherever they want, but they do know the variables they are dealing with. It can be anything from meeting a nice person, being asked their number, to being followed home, to being raped, to even worst to being gang raped, kidnapped, or murdered. Even though we are way behind on rape culture in our society women understand how perception takes a huge part in how they interact with the rest of the world. I wonder is it because we are men that we feel the need not to adapt. My mother never really had a solid conversation with about being a black man in society, but I eventually caught on to the idea on my own. I have been pulled over by cops without given a warrant or a ticket. I even had my car searched one time, even after another cop showed up on the scene who knew me and vouched me because he knew me personally they still went through my entire car only to find nothing.  

More here for that story here: 

At that point I was damn sure aware that race and our images were a problem and I think it lead to me subconsciously cutting my locs off which I had at the time of that incident. I’m not saying don’t walk around in your baggy jeans that are hanging halfway off your ass but be aware of the negative perception and attention it lends to. When we are dealing with cops we have to understand that the “rights” we have aren’t exclusive to us at the moment all those grievances during that moment we need to bring to the courtroom while we are still alive because clearly some law enforcement lack any qualms about killing us.

In closing, acknowledging where we stand in this country doesn’t mean we should be complacent and agree with but to acknowledge that is still work to be done and being reactive instead of proactive will bring us down quicker. Protesting properly is the way to start. Regardless of how the police are exacerbating this situation in Ferguson, we must be the bigger person. Nothing about what I am saying is making us as black people the culprit and that the deaths are all on our hands because black people do have considerable issues in this country gaining success because of the color of our skin and white privilege is a real issue in this country. I wish we could live in the country were we didn’t lose out on job opportunities because we have ethnic names, that I could wear my timbs and jeans anyway I wanted, that the darker that I am the more of a threat I am, and that we were all aware of how each other were being treated. Alas this is not the world we live in and since we are aware of that now, why aren’t all of us doing something to purport a better image of black culture?


R. Klever

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I Am…. The Low Maintenance Friend



So that blogging break had been interesting and I am sure that I will continue writing about all the things I experienced during that time. I will say that in that time my social media interest seriously grew and I ran into a lot of people who weren’t just interested in what I was writing and recording but in befriending me? I found it kind of weird but I understood why eventually.

When it comes to friendships I view them with the same power and impact as a romantic relationship. I firmly believe that a friendship takes hard work on both ends and a real friend always meets you in the middle one way or another. I have had very few close friends as a result and furthermore I don’t honor friendships as easily. So spending my time on Facebook over the past few months I exchanged my number with a lot of people. I shared with some for sexual reasons, other for blogging/professional reasons, or some for actual friendship. I remember over a course of weeks I was getting people frustrated in my inbox because I hadn’t responded to their text or Kik messages in ample time to conduct a conversation. Not that I was not interested in getting to know them but I am not quick to the draw. I like to take my time and let things flow as naturally as possible. I don’t want to feel pressured to be in anyone’s space or cyber space. I am an independent person so a lot of times I want to be alone or in my own space. I don’t need to be entertained because I honestly entertain myself.

I have definitely noticed over the past few months of how needy people are for a friend. It is not even indicative of people who are transplants to a new city. It seems to be more people who are natives of their hometowns. I also notice that people try to build friendships as well on the basis of getting a discount or a hook up. I am pretty discerning when people try to use me because I do have real, quality friendships in my life right now. Friendships should be organic at all times. We have to naturally find each other’s space.

My best friendships have worked well when we didn’t need to be in each other spaces. We conduct lives grinding to our next goal and see each other when we can, but when we are together we make the most of it. There isn’t anything worse than seeing someone that you haven’t seen in a while and the first thing they say is; “Hey Stranger.” That is a surefire way to piss me off or make me distance myself from the friendship. I almost want to turn around and say; “I’m sorry I’m busy. I’m sorry I’m in school. I’m sorry I’m a part-time uncle. I’m sorry I had two deaths in the family and wrecked my car in two months.” (That really happened.) I understand that people want that “Sex In The City” formula of friendship and I have but I find it doesn’t work well with me. So I prefer friends I see some of the time not all of the time. It is just easier to keep my life on track and to pay attention to my goals.



I Am….. Back.



No I haven’t been here in six months and I thought I would have returned as soon as my last post. Somehow hours turned into days and days became weeks and my weeks creeped into months. I couldn’t write and I couldn’t find the reason to write. A lot of it was consumed with doing the YouTube channel and rest, well excuses. I think these six months off were necessary for me to find my way back to this platform. Sometimes when you find no ideas to write you have to sit still for them to find you. I can admit this has been a rough year in general more highs than lows so I’m changing my purpose for writing for a bit. I have been focused a lot on helping people but I think I need to journal more. It was my saving grace through my early years when I was coming to peace with my sexuality. I need to own up to who I am and the journey I am on.

In my processing I found the gay blogging world is unnecessarily competitive for no reason. I am Rodd Klever and you are you. Most black gay bloggers I have run into are insecure or jealous and spiteful. Most are compromising their integrity for notoriety and others are using their brand to get laid. I do appreciate a fellow blogger named Benji Irby ( ) because him and I have very similar blogging dynamics and he has never treated me as competition. He understands that his brand is his and my brand is mine. This is my passion and yes I have been seriously inconsistent because I’m sorting thru shit. I still come here and on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and Vine to share who I am whether people want to listen or not.

My key to success is transparency.

When I’m great I will share and I have fallen I will share.

I will make you laugh.

I will make you think.

I will make you side eye.

I will make you disagree.

I will have you saying “That’s me too!!!” I am going to take my blog to a new place I hope to enjoy the ride with all of you. Hopefully my honesty will help those who need it and if anything myself. I have so much self-work to do and I pray you all are here with me.


R. Klever





Simply Twenty Thirteen

2013-12-04 12.51.52

What a year, what a fucking year. This year has turned out to be the best in my evolution as a human being in general. I didn’t see a lot of this year coming, but now that it is all year it is making complete and utter sense. I have placed love as the highest priority this year. Love of my friends, love of my passions, and love of myself. I spent less time this year worrying about that I couldn’t change and if I had a great time or a great moment I reveled in it as much as I could. I don’t regret anything this year and that’s the most powerful thing of all. I have lost friendships, made friendships, found love, lost love, found love again, warred with my siblings, became a better uncle, got closer to my mom, quit my job, started a new one, forgiven myself, had amazing sex, started a YouTube channel, started painting again…… and whew! It was a fulfilling year.

Making two thousand and thirteen the luckiest year of my life came thru everything that culminated in my life over the last few years. I ultimately stopped taking it personal and realized my purpose on this earth. Whether or not if it will be received I really don’t care, but that doesn’t mean I will stop what I am and have done for past few years. I feel the sense of adventure and the challenge to pursue my goals as I feel fit. I don’t feel the need to be comfortable I just want to be free and happy. I think when you put that focus on inward and no longer look for things outside yourself to feel complete you find joy. It’s almost like a new level of thinking.

I walked into this year full of uncertainty and I knew there would need to be changes made so I built all the things around me to be successful and it worked out. I’m confident for the most part about the direction my life is going. There is still that eternal time clock in my head going off every few days but I understand that this is not a competition, this is my life and I live at the speed that is feasible for me.

I’m not going to be long winded, but a little advice lovelies…

Do what makes you happy.

Find your passion and dive in head first.

Don’t beat yourself up about the things you currently can’t change.

Never take on any new problems but your own.

Whatever it is that wants to leave, let it or them go and never look back.

Commune with like minds; never indulge people who don’t have your level of understanding.

If you can say I love you or I miss you, say it.

Be kind to those regardless of the benefit to yourself.

Find a mentor. (Which I am working on now.)

Know how to be a good friend and listener.

And above all……


I don’t know what will happen in 2014, but all I know is that it will only get better and things will constantly move forward and get more exciting. I thank God for the process this year and all the things I have learned, gained, and lost. I am thankful for all of you who read my blog and view my YouTube channel I think it’s a blessing. So until next year…

Peace and Hair Grease,

Rodd Klever



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